i've tried to go to new orleans many times
i always fail.

i'm supposed to be in New Orleans now
but i missed my flight yesterday

and i had booked my flight yesterday accidently:
i meant to fly out on Wednesday

it angered me i'd get barely a week there

yesterday
the A train had some trouble
congestion in the tunnels

we were stationary at one point for 15 minutes
and at each stop after
we waited an extra minute or so
"while the dispatcher held us"

of course
when late...

even in the middle of a tunnel somewhere for a few minutes

of course
it all opened up once we got off of manhattan

i don't know what was wrong

but that
coupled with the AirTrain having some trouble
so i had to get off the one waiting
and wait for another
and wait on that about 10 minutes

was enough to get me to my terminal when my flight closed

great.

i don't like waiting at airports for long periods of time
but i sat on the ground calling all the airlines asking for flights out of JFK to NO

No No No.

so
tomorrow?
there's a guy i know who lives out here
maybe i could go hang out with him
sleep with him
and catch the 7am flight?

no:
he's working really late tonight

maybe i could just go back to Nashville?
no: goat's out in bristol and couldn't pick me up

godfuckingdamnit.

this morning the sky was clear
but when i got to the airport it was all shrouded in mist

when i called the guy in New Orleans i was going to stay with
he dismissed me with
"you can be as flighty as you want, but that's just fucking cruel to call someone who's lost everying and then just cleaned his house and made food for you and hour before you're supposed to arrive and tell him you're not coming at all. Have fun on your Adventures. i'm sure you'll meet someone who could show you New Orleans much better than i could"

then he hung up

so i felt shit
and the air had turned damp and cold

and i rode back into the city

i'll spend a few more days in new york.
stay with nay now
see another show
make some more money
rest?

i walked out into the forest
and made love with some trees
sleeping winter trees
they pulled it all out of me
like a fister with hungry claws

so i slept well last night

now what?

i'm sorry:
here i am