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August 13th, 2006

garbled everyting: just spit it out @ 03:07 pm


just start in the middle
it makes the beginning so much easier:

i've felt this before
and i can say now that i understand why we don't live in a connected and conscious state all the time
but i still don't think it's a good idea

i vascillate
between being angry about it
and being apathetic

i understand now
and i still don't feel capable enough to actively change it

that's the whole thing?

martian said that when i am doing the proper thing that my wholness is needed for
then i will be whole again

until then
..


i'm not fully aware of my emotions
much less my place, my purpose



what if the world wasn't ending?

maybe i could dream of being an artist
maybe i could be a teacher
maybe i could be a father

if we weren't destroying everying...

IF the world was living
not dying

what if i could see it like that?
what if i could believe it?

there's hope!
i got life!

what could i do?
what could i be if there was a tomorrow?
 
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