i have often thought of myself as a bain
something evil
wrong..


of course
these ideas are not currently in use
circulating

they're buried
composted

or put on a shelf?


i moved to new york
so excited to spend time with bridget, nayland, chip

and bridget started fighting all the time with her boy friend
nayland's best friend died and left him a wreck
chip got terrible appendicitis and was out of commission for the entire time i was there


i go to visit people
and they're father's die
car crashes, train wrecks, terrible illness.


maybe i AM a vortex of chaos and destruction

maybe i am dangerous

the glimmer of love and kindness in me keeps me moving to not pollute anyone's life


could that be correct?

i don't think so.

but some evidence is towards it...