30.4. Sunday. Bye Jeff... @ 11:23 pm
i don't like waking up so early
but my body was ready for it
what if every day could be like Last Days?
i went to wake Jeff up by crawling into bed with him
-- i hadn't done that since months ago up at his house in the mountains
-- it's nice to crawl into bed with a friend.
but not too much time for cuddling:
it was already slightly past 6
and we had to leave in a half hour
so i showered
i drank some vitamin C
i ate a banana
i put away the rest of the stuff
Jeff had some of that chocolate i bought yesterday
i had the rest
and ate half of my yogurt and walnuts
then we had to go
the morning was quiet
we packed the car
and drove into town listening to "Gamera" by Tortoise
mostly silence between us
everything wet, grey
the window kept fogging.
these narrow roads can only work in an unpopulated area
what is this place like in tourist season?
must be terrible
as it is
there are often things sticking out into the road
which is barely wide enough to pass a car at most places
often having to yield..
i dropped off Jeff at the bus stop
and told him to get out of the car
drove to the dock.
i thought we were going to be on the "Ionian Star"
but it was still sleeping..
another was awake
big red ferry
and the greek letters on it's side matched something i assumed was it's name on my ticket
so i parked
and pulled my self together
ate the rest of my yogurt
and got of Jeff's phone to call Katrina
-- told her where her car was
she said to make sure to leave it unlocked
the key under the mat
still a place in the world like this...?
i got on the ferry
and found a quiet corner
in what looked like a conference room
by the front of the ship
went to take a piss
drank too much water this morning
(musn't go to waste, you know)
then returned to my seat.
it began to fill up around me
little boy with a horse voice... so deep..
is it naturally that way?
or did something make that little boy decide he had to talk so deep?
so deep his vocal chords can't handle it yet
so he sounds like a 60 year old smoker..
loud little boy
i get out my computer
and start editing my photo-conversations page
and Jeff arrives
he sits down
and the family behind us get out their portable DVD player
and play it really loudly..
Star Wars or something
loud: taking up a lot of space
what do Jeff and i have to say to eachother anyway?
i pull out the ipod and splitter and hook both of us up
to listen to music while i edit
and jeff sits there with his eyes closed
a blend of NYC playlists:
" they do, lonely lonely, new york, born again, christmas with jesus, lover's spit, the further i slide "
click click click
about ten minutes left
i turn it off
and ask him if he'd like to talk..
but what do we have to talk about?
i ask him what his favourite colour is
why does the sun shine?
we sit in silence
he's going to go get on the bus so he can get a seat up front
he kisses me good bye
"i love you"
and walks off
i sit there finishing what i was doing
a sinking feeling in my body
maybe that's all i wanted to hear the whole time anyway
i just wanted love
not all that distance and wondering
always just want love
and now i'm acutely sad that i didn't get to hug him good bye
so i pack up my lap top
and run off looking for him..
but the throngs of people are too much
i use the toilet instead
go back and get my bags
i see the buses are still there
and still loading
so i start running around seeing if i can find him
so i start getting on the busses
looking for him
second one: he's right there
i tell him to get off
while the driver is shouting something at me
i mumble about "looking for my friend"
but he can't understand me anyway
and i can't understand him..
what do you want?
so we hug
and it feels good.
"i thought maybe i had something of yours or something"
' maybe you did '
" you really are a romantic! "
and he's back on the bus
and it pulls away.
now what am i doing?
i look around
ask the other buses there if they are going to Pyrgos...?
ask the police man
he says the bus isn't here yet
go wait over there
so i wait.
i get out my knife and cut off the rotten plastic from the top of my bag
some crazy bearded guy attacking his bag with a knife..
where's the bus?
it doesn't come
and 10 minutes after it's time
i decide to leave the docks..
i walk into the little town
and realize i'll get nothing there
what the fuck?
there is a bus stop
and people are waiting
and talking to eachother in greek
i sit down and wait
where is this going?
when does it come?
maybe it's not...
a taxi pulls 'round
and two of the guys go up to it
-- this being the only transport i am likely to see for a while
i ask if they will let me come with to the train station
they look doubtful
but one speaks english
and says yes
the driver looks dubious
but we all pack into the car
four of us, with a strange older man who'd been eyeing me with a pinched face
different colour lenses on his glasses
his voice strained
they talk on the way to the town
i hope i'm going the right way..
when we get to the town
it's crumbly and grey and dirty
: not a tourist town
looks more like a mexican border town
he drops off the two younger guys at the bus station
and i don't see them pay anything
he drops us off at the train station
the older man disappears
don't know where he went
i pay him €10
yeah, no tip: fuck you too, guys
making me pay the whole taxi.
he mutters something in greek
and i go to look for ...
this is the train station?
it looks like it hasn't been used in years
i find the ticket window
in what looks like a communist era waiting room
(but greece wasn't communist, was it?)
and i almost have to cajole the guy to get up from his desk and come to the window to sell me a ticket.
i'm glad Stelios had explained the trains today
or i would have had no idea what this guy was talking about
but i buy i ticket to Pyrgos at 10:41
about a half hour to wait.
... then i'll have to wait an hour and a half in Pyrgos or something...
i take some pictures
and write til the train comes
a few minutes early
it would have left
i'm glad i ran to catch it
a big old man with a long white beard stands outside
if i had my camera ready i would have snapped it...
but i had to jump on the train: no time
the train pulls off before i sit down
we're rumbling (not rolling, not floating) through the countryside
and other small stations
which look even more dilapidated than the first...
... the air on the train smells like truck exhaust
i'm glad the ride isn't too long
glad i got it split up
or i'd asphyxiate.
--- we get to Pirgos quickly
there are canadian back packers
i want to run away with them
but they are heterosexual and normal
a bit more together than i
they slip through my fingers
i buy a ticket to the next town
leaves at 13:15
i look around the waiting room for plugs
but in the cafe
which sells no food... only coffee and liquor
there are plugs
i try and plug in
but it won't go
they are all talking to be in greek
no one understand english
i don't understand them
a man translates for us
and i sit behind storage stuff
charging my lap top
i eat some cheese and rye bread with salami
the air is thick with smoke.
i write til 12:40
when they close
go sit outside at the tables out there
but i have some battery power now
and there is a very handsome german couple
i'm sure they're gay
not sure they're german
i just want to run away with everyone today
should i take a picture of him
or go talk to him?
let him walk by
and smile at him.
now i'm on the train
they didn't get on with me
heading to Zaxaro
only twenty minutes away now
and i've caught up with all my greek writing
feel good about that
but what about italy and spain?
hot springs in an hour!
it was quicker than that
i got off the train
and getting off the train
the two boys i shared the taxi with
what the fuck?
all friendly and smiling, sure
pay for your own taxi into town
there was Stelios:
as he said he would be
his cowboy hat on
and he approached me
but when he saw me speaking to the boys from the taxi
he turned around and went to his car
i met him at his car
he said little
but opened the side door
of his saphire blue WV bus
i put my stuff in
and he was already in the driver's seat
so i got in next to him and we started driving.
he told me the springs were called "Kaiafa"
which was one of the Judges who judged Jesus
"if you know the bible"
i don't remember all of what we said
but i remember feeling like the intimacy i've been lacking
wasn't going to be supplemented here
it was a shorter ride to the springs than i imagined
more beautiful than i would have expected
the rich green everywhere
hills, mountains behind
some cliffs of white and red
he pulled into a parking lot across from the lake
and the spring was quite large
going into a cave in the mountain side
the floor of the spring was all green from an algae on the rocks
and the air was perfumed with sulphur...
the water wasn't HOT
--about body temperature...
but it felt sooooo good
oh, how long has it been since i've been in hot springs?
Stelios says he swims here every day
and with his goggles on
he began doing laps
i just scrubbed my head and face underwater
boyant, i could extend myself more than usual
hearing my bones pop and crack under the water
joyus in the release...
it wasn't long that we were the only two people there
but it was large enough for many...
Stelios and i began talking
and i instantly pegged him as a Taurus... some fixed sign... lots of fire... maybe a gemini though
he liked talking a lot
but all of his views were terminal
he was always right
and there was never room for discussion about anything
and interesting change from being with Jeff for three weeks
who often didn't express his opinions
if he did
mostly did it with a new-age disclaimer that made it vague
S. said "no way" about a twenty times in that first conversation
as well as such heartening phrases as
"there is nothing new in the world.
everything has been done.
everything has been seen.
everything has been said.
there is nothing to discover
there is no adventure anymore"
i very quickly just pulled away from him
and enjoyed the water
but we were there less than an hour
i gather he didn't like kids
as a family was there with three kids flopping about in the water
we got to the car
and he obviously had two towels
but asked me if i had one
i said yes
so he waited for me to pull it out
didn't offer me one of the ones he had
-- i think this is the first time i've used this towel on this trip...
the wind was cold
took out my sandels, choosing not to put my shoes back on
and jumped back in the front seat
he noticed my pants
'ah, you got those in Peru?
-- i have ten pairs just like them"
-' yeah, they were cheap. and cotton, so i like wearing them '
"no they're not: they're polyester... i burned some of the fibers on mine, i'm sure those are polyester too.."
' no... they're cotton... '
but i felt them
they felt like polyester..
how come i never noticed?
i've thought of them many times as being nice that they were cotton...
it was only a 10 minute ride to his house from there
he said it was only about 5kms...
said there was a spring even closer to his house if i wanted to walk there...
a sign on the road to his house said
-- i asked "what's that?"
"oh, it's nothing: just a pile of rocks"
i asked again
another sign on that road said "Beach" in roman letters
he said he'd show me the sea
but he doesn't swim there til late june
it's too cold
he swims in the thermal spring
on the way there
we passed people stopped in the middle of the road, talking
he waved and shouted out the window at them
then turned to me and said
"just in case anyone asks: we met in Brazil. we stayed at the same hotel. we are just friends. we kept in touch through the internet, you''re visiting me."
(of course, i met him three weeks ago through Silverdaddies.com, so...)
there was a dog barking at the van as we passed those people
"it's a very short walk to the beach from my house
but you shouldn't walk
that dog guards the sheep
and it will bite you if you walk by..
even on a bike
so if you want to see the beach
you should ask me to drive you
the beach is the longest in Greece... about 50kms
long in each direction
the waves are large now...
i walk to the edge and let them crash on my legs
but we don't stay long: he left the engine running
so back to the house
there was a gate
he took off the keys and gave them to me
so i jumped out and unlocked it
and pushed against it
thinking it would swing open, as i am accustomed to these types of gates doing
but it seemed stuck
so i shoved harder
-- he said something to me from inside... like "sometimes it gets stuck"
so i pushed even harder:
the gate crashed to the ground, flat.
the neighbors looked down from their second story balcony..
i see now that it was on wheels that would have allowed it to slide to the side
he got out of the van
and helped me pick it up and put it back on track
then drove through
like a good boy
i slid it closed
pulled the chain around
and locked it..
though we were surrounded by fields
and three other houses
i guess he doesn't trust his neighbors?
i unloaded my stuff into his house
and everything felt like it was playing out of some script
-- i could hear his thoughts much too clearly
he asked me if i was hungry
"no, but i could eat... whenever"
he jumped into high-strung panic mode and rushed about making dinner
explaining how sorry he was he didn't have meat
he thought i would be a vegitarian
-- his electricity kept blowing out because convection oven-thing
(a large glass bowl with a grill rack inside of it and a strange cover with a heating unit with a blower in it)
kept shorting out
the computer turned off
did this over and over
til he gave me the pot of beans and told me to cook them on the stove
he set out to make rice
the asked me if i wanted coffee
i told him i don't drink coffee
he asked if i wanted tea
i told him i don't drink caffine much... but had some herbal tea with me
he said that was fine, and boiled some water for me
then said he wanted to smoke
he went out onto the porch for a cigarette
and asked if i had anything to smoke
asked me to roll a joint
so i pulled out all my herbs
and i think we smoked two joints
while he poured cup after cup of coffee for himself
meanwhile he kept hounding me about not burning the beans
which were hard
so i kept them cooking slowly..
in my stoned state
i was shocked that his powerful negativity had turned my light cotton peruvian pants into polyester
no doubt about it
now they were polyester
were they cotton before?
i kept having to run in the house to check the beans...
he told me he wasn't hungry
as he had eaten right before he picked me up
then why was he rushing to cook food?
i turned it off
-- then he took me in his bedroom so i could suck his dick
which was nice
and he liked it
it was an interesting connection
he barely touched me
just enjoyed my work
and when he came
it was like his entire body fell onto mine
(and i'm talking energetically.. he was just lying flat on his back, physically)
so i felt that and moved it for a while
then put it back onto his body
and he was very happy
but could i use a towel and clean him up?
he handed me one
and i wiped him
then he explained how i SHOULD do it
is to go to the bathroom and get hot water and ring it out..
and pedantically told me the whole process
"yes, i know" i said
but wasn't about to do it.
he then took me into the bathroom to SHOW me how to do it
told me to ring it out
"try not to burn yourself"
then he proceeded to show me the towels.
"i don't use toilet paper
i use that hose
then i use that towel to wipe my butt
and it's my personal towel, i will get one for you
hanging above it
i use to that towel to wipe off my foreskin
because there is always a drop or so after i piss
i flush the toilet every time, we are not saving water here
i don't want it to smell
this towel here
that is for my face
it is my personal towel
don't use it
but this towel over here
that is for our hands.. that is a common towel..
here, (he hands me a yellow rag, more holes than thread)
this one is for you to dry your butt with afterwards, do you want another one for your dick?"
oh my god.
... i don't remember what all happened
and i'm not going to recount it in detail
there was dinner:
sitting at opposite ends of a long table
i got him off three more times
we smoked two or three more joints
the power kept going out
we did go to another small spring by his house
just big enough for me to lay in
he waited for me while i lay there
but kept trying to talk to me
"that'd make a nice picture"
when i sat up
i noticed there were lots of flaggela in there...
i got out
and felt itchy
i got tired very quick
where normally i will stay up late to have time to myself while the other person i am with goes to sleep
i could see
from the way he had been drinking coffee steadily all day since we returned from the spring
that he wasn't going to sleep early
-- he said many times that he stays up late and wakes up late
so i told him i was going to sleep early
i was very tired..
and i was, indeed
so i went to sleep.
i didn't sleep well
sometime in the night
a huge rain came through
he went outside to close his van
(he left the doors open when he got home)
and his storage units
(he has five train-storage boxes in the back yard, huge metal boxes)
-- i got up to unplug my computer
afraid it might get fried
then went back to sleep
in the unnaturally warm room
under the polyester blanket..