... Most People Demand Too Much Attention ...
Like Eli says i do?
---------
Jim is so hung up on things... repeating... conservative...
Stodgy. Stuck in his ways.
(he's commented on it himself)
-------
He said he'd never take another trip without Gene again
coz he misses him too much...
Just as i wrote that down
he told me Pancho called him a "Heel" last night at dinner.
i don't even know what that means.
-Negative impressions.
... but he says he doesn't really Care.
he IS a cancer & can feel everything...
& 73 i'm sure he's learned how
i guess he's made himself clear
no matter how obfuscating i am
i get the impression he's not having a good time with me.
___________________________
i woke
brushed my hair.
showered.
packed.
got a bit of breakfast; ate my cherimoya.
went out into the city to erase my pictures from the two computers i left stuff on...
the internet cafe across the street wasn't open yet
so i walked the long block up to the other one
... which was in the process of opening
i got on the computer
and found that it re-images it self every time it is restarted
(which is comon at internet cafes... but not all of them)
- so nothing to worry about.
i wrote a few emails.
then went back to the other place.
-- it still wasn't open.
so i went back up to the hotel
and grabbed my back pack.
when i came down the cafe was open...
but some spy ware program had expired and kept the computer completely locked up..
so i rebooted it in safe-mode to by-pass that
got in
and deleted my files
i stood around outside
taking pictures of the new arrivals...
i'm glad it wasn't my group
there were two big Bubbas
with their wives
-- it would have been torture
... i took a few pictures of them
then got on our new bus.
--- we headed out of town.
---------------------/
i had a bad dream
being hounded by Joel
Sheridan had stolen my journal
trevis was there somewhere in the back ground: silent
i couldn't figure out why sheridan took it... i think she sold it
i was running all over looking for it.
i woke with the energy from Will last night palpably in my aura
after having no sex for so long it was very clear
... and i didn't like it.
\---------------------
pretty much the whole day on the bus
so plenty of time to think...
i thought about 79 Clinton.
... living with Don?
or what kind of Situation would be good for me?
Nayland... want to be gentle and respectful with him..
& wondered if i should interract with my Italians at all anymore...
& the Power of now...
Talked with Judy about it
i said i wished i would have written that book
but i was afraid the universe would have destroyed me
as i would have written it with the intention of bringing the world to an end (as we know it)
which, i guess, wasn't his main motivation...
--------------------
we stopped at a few tourist places
an old ornate church
the highest spot in the road (14,000ft)
& more ruins.
i bought a bag at the church for my stuff that i'd left in Palm Springs
my back pack was getting full and i knew i'd need more space to get it back to NYC...
then
on one of our pee-breaks
i saw another of those Fortune dolls for Nayland in the shop...
Bigger. Better. Cheeper.
his name is Ekecho. 13 soles.
the ruins were once a huge building with pillars and tons of food storage
now mostly destoyed
and eaten by the weather...
/------------------/
this Hotel is nice.
windy.
Jim thought we were having an earthquake:
it was just the wind shaking the building
Trying to make Jim feel good.
but i don't know what he wants...
rather- i can't give it to him:
he needs Gene.
...& wer're sexually incompatible:
he's totally passive.
maybe he's not interested?
-- i am agressive; i need a more agressive man to have a good time
~~ my italians? ~~
i talked with Walter about Mongolia a lot at dinner tonight...
i'm finding it more and more difficult to Read
The Power of Now
because i keep stopping to just be i presence
then drift into it
getting distracted from reading the book.
Pictures
Tomorrow
Yesterday
