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June 12th, 2012

34.10 @ 05:16 am




"you are fearless"

I did not contradict
I do not well know my stance on that

of course I have fears
they plague me when I am alone
and have nothing to deal with

but yes
a half-life of traveling and rebelling the life I was offered
yes
fearless
in action
yes, of course

yes, something like that
not afraid of what I've been told to be afraid of
what I'm expected to be afraid of
so many silly things
people
situations
not worth sounding the alarms about

perhaps I am a hunter
or fancy myself one
a hunter of fear
stalking it in the world
as if an exterminator
just another agent of darkness
but never really inclined to create more fear
but to stalk it
and crush it

tiring of this
many mundane fears are ignore by me
sometimes I get bitten
mostly I brush it off

but
sitting in the dark
in central park
the wind wishing through the trees

what is that?
frog? duck? queer?
cruiser?
a police siren blip over there
a crushed stick: who goes there?
a splash in the water
badger?

my body tenses
heightens
well
yes
I'm alive
just flexing my wings

/

but
really
what did I find
wandering around in the dark?

skull faced daemon vampires?
self manifest as sucubus?
ink spot bass tantra master calling me Baby?
disappointed munchkin monster?
family of raccoons?
Cuban brujo who fed me his eggs for hours?

what did I find?
the land of faerie is Off The Map
the lights, the dark
the winding paths
the running water

the energy it takes
an open hand
Tina of gifts
given given given
habit driving me to hunger
self actualized
acrobatic, sensual warlock
servant of outcast isolated priests
wishing to free the planet from the death-grip of humanity

and though I
walk home alone
"I might walk home alone
but my faith in love is still devout"

oh, scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen. . .

.iP

 
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