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Vertical Prose


May 1st, 2010

loser @ 12:37 am

busy day
yoga class
suprise casting call for a Japanese pop video
had to get the mail from my maybe-new Chelsea flat
massage client I wanted to say "I love you" to, but didn't want to fuck his head or heart
dinner break
of what?
everyone is busy with life
ate alone at Two Boots
and headed down to der Oude Wall to walk to the piers
all obscured with fucking decorated fences
I walked south
past the homeless person's
space
(what do they keep in all those bags?
what do they keep in them? what?
sone guy on the subway pushing TWO loaded dollies.. what the fuck are in those bags? we who have houses fill them with useless shit, what could poosiblt be so necessarry to push around on your own through crowded trains? I used to carry too much junk with me when I was homeless... let it fucking go... What's in those bags?)

I sat on a bench
watching the sun set on Brooklyn heights
waving to the heart of Figleaf: Hi over there
descending darkness
Internet not working
I wanted to post
"Its Beltane Eve... what am I doing alone?"
but even the Internet had abandoned me
so I just sat there eating expensive goji berry chocolate
wondering what the fuck these berries looked like fresh
had I eaten them in Mongolia?

I then went to meet the man visiting from Dubai
which I already wrote about
not a friend
silly
exhausted myself and headed home
where I'm writing this on the train

what I wanted to write about was the casting:
they called me because they needed a cHasidic Jewish guy for the video
thought I'd work
when I got there
and signed the sheet
I saw someone else had signed for that role as well
hadn't gone yet
I looked around the room
and there he was: a real chassid in full penguin suit
fuck me, I'm not getting that role!
but I sat and talked with him
he said he'd left the fold
his family ostracized him
he's not religeous at all anymore
but he kept the costume so he could get acting and modeling gigs as one

there was an ease to the conversation
but a heaviness to my heart
through his smiling face

I've been reading more about catholic priest child rape lately
why does so much damage get inflicted
in the name of love?
one more in the name of love!

when she came to collect him
she asked how to pronounce his name
he shrugged and said
"Loser"



.iP
 
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